On a Saturday afternoon in early March of this year, George W. Bush, the 43rd president of the United States, summoned several former senior advisors and prominent GOP donors to his Crawford, Texas, ranch and announced that he was considering running for president.

Mr. Bush reportedly told his inner circle that he was not considering jumping into the current presidential race but is “seriously considering the 2013 election next year.” “I thought it was just one of his usual gags,” said one source who attend the meeting. “But I knew he was serious when the delivery guy showed up with those Dogzillas from Fuddruckers. Seems like he always eats those things when he’s telling us something really important, like when he decided to appoint Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court, or when he finally topped 200,000 on Donkey Kong.”